Dear G♥d

Dear G♥d,

I know I shouldn’t ask why, but to say I don’t wonder would be a lie

Striving daily to forget my past, patches of love don’t seem to last

You said just to choose and I did, for some reason true love is hid

No “man” is meant to be alone, does that include “woman” or no

My questions may seem trivial, though my tears continue to flow

I’ve made mistakes. I ask myself would they be the same without heartaches

I’m fifty-one years of age, lonely and alone.  Is this my life? Here on my own

If like Paul I could force myself, then philia love would be more than enough

My memory, even as a child, I longed to be accepted, hugged and simply loved

I know or at least I believe You want the best for me, Your words states as much

It’s just when my mind and heart aren’t getting along, the questions come strong

Sincerely,

KimberlySpeaks   Butterflies♥N♥Lilies

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“Don’t Leave Me Now”

DON’T LEAVE ME NOWNOW THAT I’VE GIVEN YOU MY HEART
HEART THAT EASILY BROKEN
BROKEN BY YEARS OF HURT AND PAIN
PAIN THAT COULD HAVE ENDED
ENDED MY LIFE IN BITTER SHAME
SHAME THAT GOD HAS TAKEN AWAY
AWAY TO THE PITS OF HELL IN DEATH
DEATH THAT COULD HAVE, BUT CAN’T
CAN’T, ‘CAUSE GOD’S GIVEN ME VICTORY
VICTORY OVER ALL THE TRIALS
TRIALS THAT HAVE GIVEN ME STRENGTH
STRENGTH TO KNOW I NEED TO SAY DON’T
DON’T LEAVE ME NOW!!
~~KMichelle Frazier

MY KINGS LOVE

Rest well my king…. as my heart beats, it beats for you, as my eyes open, I only see you, as my arms stretch, they reach only for you. As my legs begin to walk, they will walk only to you. You, my love are the fruit of my wait, when God allowed you for me, He opened heavens gate, So I treasure the blessing of you in my life, you are the paragon and i’m your wife. 💋💞💕💖

KimberlySpeaks 💜 Butterflies💞N💞Lilies

Heart vs Mind

My heart has become numb emotionally

Emotionally blind to what’s real and whats not

Not because that is what I desire or want

Wanting to be held, yet rejecting the feelings

Feelings that once gave me peace now give me fear

Fear of failing yet again, even after giving it my all

All of me is never enough or maybe its too much

Much adieu about nothing some might say

Say that I’m too old for a fairy-tale come true

True that may be nevertheless that dream won’t die

Die like the numbness I feel inside

Inside my heart is aching just to FEEL

Feel so that my soul may be truly free

Free to love although my mind says no…….

~~Kimberly Frazier               Butterflies♥N♥Lilies

 

 

 

My Heart

If you could SEE my heart

Heart full of hurt and love

love that is forever lost

lost in the thoughts of my mind

Mind that continues to reel

Reel in the reflections of my past

Past that I fight to forget and let go

Go because the hurt is so deep

Deep like the abyss of the ocean

Ocean that is cold, yet filled with peace

Peace that only God can provide

Provide so that my heart will be free

Free to love and be honestly loved

Loved by the one who will nurture my heart

Heart made full with emotions

Emotions that come from this heart of mine

Mine and no one else’s to control or hurt

Hurt no more my heart, you’re finally free

FREE TO LOVE

Kimberly M. Frazier, #KimberlySpeaks #Butterflies♥N♥Lilies

3.21.18 (c) Image result for free hearts

LISTEN

Struggling to be heard

Yelling at the top of my voice

Yet you don’t even hear

Becoming tired of the same thing

Three hours of love with 21 of hate

Is this what I’m left with

He left, she didn’t bond, they abused

How long will it take

How many tears must I shed

Will my heart forever be broken

My eyes are bleeding, and my voice is hoarse

Yet, still you won’t simply LISTEN.

 

Kimberly M Frazier ~ ButterfliesNLilies

 

I can’t forget

I can’t forget how you made me feel

Not because I don’t want to

But I need my heart to heal

So that my love will be true

I can’t forget the rage in your eyes

How my heart was afraid

And you didn’t see my cries

While deep in your tirade

I can’t forget the embarrasment

How empty my soul became

Filing charges of harrassment

My mind feeling I was going insane

I can’t forget the love, I still feel

Though fear continues to remind me

Of how my life became so surreal

That now, I’ve GOT TO THINK OF ONLY ME

I simply can’t forget!

–Kimberly M Frazier ♥ ButterfliesNLilies

broken

 

MENtell Illness

theta-brain-wave-patterns

At the age of 4, though I don’t truly recall

My father told me that he had to go and wouldn’t be back

He told me if he stayed, he might go to jail

That was the first sign of my MENtell illness

Here comes 10, that’s when I had to have MENtell illness

First he told me don’t tell your mama

Then he told me she won’t care

Lastly, he told me he told her, she told him she didn’t care.

Around 15 or so, the first man told me, “I LOVE YOU”

Hadn’t heard THAT ONE before not from a man, a friend or anyone

He told me and told me, then I told him, and I let him

After that the love didn’t fade, we just did

Now here I am at 50, remembering the two men that told me

They’d love honor and cherish for always…HA HA HA!! they TOLD lies

MENtell lies, that’s what they do, then they wonder why

So many women suffer from MENtell illness……….

 

–ButterfliesNLilies

Kimberly M Frazier 1.9.2K18

 

 

Phenomenal Woman by: Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
PHENOMENAL WOMAN
THAT’S ME

Could You

If I let you in, could you love me

Could you love me like you say

Or would it be a temporary thing

Could you love me in that agape way

If I let you in, could you care for me

Could you care for me always

Not just in wonderful times

But  on good and bad days

If I let you in, could you honor me

Honor me with kindness, love and compassion

Could you honor me from your innermost

Or would you leave my heart in ashes

If I let you in, could you love me

Could you love me like you say

Or would it be a temporary thing

Could you love me in that agape way

~~ KimberlySpeaks♥ButterfliesNLilies (c) 11/12/2017